Almost So
by Shadokin
Summary: A drunk Fiona tries to seduce a dysphoric Adam. Four-shot.
1. Adam's Tears

**Okay, so I had this idea for the past few days so I took this time to write it while I had the chance. It was originally meant to just be a two-shot but because of everything I put it ended up being longer. Anyway, it is rated M, mainly for the last chapter. It's my first time writing something like this so I hope you guys like it. And with that, let's move on with the story.**

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She stumbled, her body leaning against her support while she giggled to herself.

"Easy, Princess." The young boy said beside her. Her arm was slung around his shoulders as he led her up the steps to her condo. Fiona said nothing as he led her upwards, and before she knew it she was standing in the middle of her condo. She slowly pulled away from Adam and looked around, before heading off into the kitchen. She could feel Adam watching her but said nothing. She found herself looking over the few magnets on her fridge door, debating whether or not to check if there was another bottle somewhere inside.

"Fiona, maybe you should sit down," Fiona heard Adam say behind her. She turned and walked over to the counter, leaning against it and smiling as she caught his eyes.

"Oh, what happened to princess?" She questioned playfully, watching as Adam gave a small smile in response. Deciding to listen to him she headed over to the couch, kicking off her heels as she lightly dropped into the cushions under her. Then she looked up to see Adam watching himself in the body mirror that was hung against the wall. He looked so distant.

Fiona, of course, knew that Adam was transgender before they started dating. But it wasn't a problem for her, though some days it seemed to bother him a bit more than normal.

She shook her head, feeling her thoughts get a bit hazy. Fiona stood and moved over to him, gently grabbing his hand with hers.

"Come, I want to show you something." She said, leading him down the hall.

She stepped into her room, letting go of Adam's hand. As she turned to face him she saw that he wasn't smiling like she thought he would be.

"You wanted to show me your room?" Adam asked, puzzled. Fiona sat at the edge of her bed and patted the spot beside her.

Slowly he walked over and took a seat beside her, looking down at the floor.

"Fiona, why were you drinking?" Adam asked her, lifting his head and locking his gaze with hers. Fiona felt her smile falter; she didn't want to say anything. That was the whole point of drinking, to forget about the truth for awhile.

She silenced Adam by pressing her lips against his, and he immediately responded, if still a bit tense. They had been dating for about seven months so making out wasn't unfamiliar territory for them. Only after a long moment Adam pulled away, causing Fiona to frown.

"We shouldn't be doing this," Adam said, red staining his cheeks in a blush. "You're drunk."

Staring at Adam, Fiona lifted her hand to touch her boyfriend's cheek, making him look back at her. For a few silent moments they just stared at each other.

"It's okay Adam." Fiona said in reassurance as he broke eye contact with her again. She leaned forward again, landing a kiss at the corner of his lips. Part of her knew what she was doing was wrong, but the other part of her didn't care. The alcohol was going against her better judgment, though honestly Fiona wondered if being drunk would have even made a difference.

Her hand lay over his jeans, above his crotch area. Fiona heard Adam's breathing quicken which she took as a good sign.

"Wh-what are you doing?" His tone was low and he had grown tense at her sudden action. Fiona gave him a gentle smile, knowing he was nervous. In fact, she was too, she wasn't sure exactly what she was doing but she couldn't find it in her to stop herself.

"I want to be closer with you Adam." Intimacy wasn't something Fiona usually wanted, but with it came a bond. Her and Adam have been through tons together, though they both still dodged the L word and they weren't touchy feely like other couples. She felt that what she had with Adam was strong already, and she wanted them to be stronger.

He looked at her, but Fiona couldn't see what he was trying to say with his eyes. Taking his silence as an okay she leaned in once again and pressed her lips to his. There was still the question on if they were both ready for this, but Fiona wouldn't give herself the chance to ask. She nudged Adam to lean back and he quietly allowed them to be lowered together onto her bed. She moved a bit so she was half way on top of his torso.

Adam's arms lowered to her sides, and Fiona tried to push out the slight discomfort she was feeling. Not from Adam, but because of what she was doing. Adam's mouth finally parted, and the air grew hot around them. Still there was a twinge of awkwardness neither could shake off yet both refused to verbally acknowledge.

She felt at a sudden standstill, wanting to continue but unsure how. Giving Adam another kiss she slowly lifted up her hand, her thumb brushing the side of Adam's cheek, and Fiona froze. The cheek was wet.

Pulling away Fiona saw the small tears that slid down Adam's cheeks. He stared up with her, trying to mask the discomfort once again he was clearly feeling, only this time there was no way around it. She wanted to cry with him, realizing it was her fault he was like this. Yet the tears wouldn't come.

"Adam...?" Her voice sounded shaky, unnerved. Adam's hands were at her sleeves, and he gently tugged her to come down. Fiona complied and laid against him with her head at his shoulder, his arms moving around her at the waist. Only it wasn't like the other times they've hugged, Fiona noticed the difference. Adam was still tense, and he was doing his best not to move.

She glanced up and saw the truth, that Adam was still crying his soundless tears, letting them casually slid down his face. She recognized immediately what was going on with him and suddenly felt a mass amount of guilt hit her. She buried her head into his neck and soon enough they were crying together in silence for their own reasons. Neither spoke, both feeling like they had failed the other.


	2. Fiona's Hurt

**Thanks for all the feedback guys, seriously it made my night. Anyway this is sort of the same thing as the first chapter, only from Adam's perspective instead. It was a bit hard since I was writing about him experiencing dysphoria and at the same time I was actually going through the same thing so I think some of myself got put into here. Oh well, hopefully it'll help with the realistic feel if anything. Glad you all are enjoying it so far and with that let me not keep you. **

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Adam focused on the task at hand, remembering that he would need to ask Fiona later was she had chosen to get drunk.

The past few days were already a wreck for Adam. He didn't say it out loud, but he was having one of those moments where the fact that his body didn't match up with his mind really got to him. Gender dysphoria is what it's called. He did his best ignore it, but with his girlfriend leaning against him it wasn't the easiest of tasks to pull off.

Finally, they made it to the front door. Adam managed to get the key to unlock the door and opened it quickly to led Fiona inside. She giggled again, recognizing where she was as she was able to step away from Adam and merely walk around. Adam kept an eye on her, making sure she didn't do anything rash. Normally taking care of Fiona when this happened was Holly J's job, but Fiona's been lying off the drinks for a long time. Which concerned Adam even more so to have her in the state she was in.

"Fiona, maybe you should sit down." He watched Fiona come back into his line of sight. She smiled at him and leaned against the counter.

"Oh, what happened to princess?" She questioned in a playful tone, earning a tiny smile from Adam. She walked around the counter and made her way over to the couch, letting herself fall into the cushions. Adam walked around the couch, passing a mirror. He stopped, noting Fiona in the reflection as well. But all he could find himself doing was picking every flaw he saw. His eyebrows too small, no visible adam's apple, his androgynous appearance. But the worst of it was despite how hidden it was he could still see the bumps on his chest that betrayed his mentality. Even though no one else noticed, even though his brother said his chest looked flat he felt it there. No amount of binding would change that.

He jumped a little when he felt Fiona's hand take hold of his. She wanted to show him something was what she said as she led the way further into her condo. Adam suddenly felt nervous, having an idea of where she was taking him.

Her room, she let go of his hand and stepped forth. Adam willed himself to appear as calm as he could, despite the anxiety he felt inside screaming for him to leave.

"You wanted to show me your room?" He felt his palms get sweaty, his eyes following Fiona as she moved to sit on her bed, motioning him to sit beside her.

Adam's inside voice told him to calm down, that he could leave when he wanted. Yet also he felt that he needed to stay, Fiona had supposedly stopped drinking. Or at least she never went over her limit. So what made her go back to it? And at a party they were at together?

He took a seat next to her, staring hard at the ground. There had to be something, but why couldn't she talk to him about it?

"Fiona, why were you drinking?"

Rather than say anything she kissed him. Adam went with it, unable to help himself. They've kissed before but not often, at least not by their friends' standard. Fiona told him she was a bit uncomfortable with the intimacy that came with it and he respected her enough not to push it. But besides that fact he needed a distraction, something to make him forget about his sudden discomfort with himself.

Only it wasn't working. And Adam suddenly got the feeling of what Fiona was trying to do and he pulled away.

"We shouldn't be doing this," Adam said. "You're drunk."

He looked down, wishing he knew what to do. To make him feel better but to also reach out to Fiona. Her hand touched his cheek and brought his eyes back to hers. After a moment of silence she spoke.

"It's okay Adam." He wanted to tell her it wasn't, but he saw the look in her eyes. Like she was trying to prove something to herself. Her lips touched the corner of his mouth and Adam had to calm himself down again. He felt nervous, trapped, but he couldn't just leave Fiona if this was something she needed. Even if she told him she didn't want to think about anything physical.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Adam stuttered at the light pressure that came from Fiona's hand on his pants. From what he knew before Fiona didn't act like this when she had one too many. Drunk or not this wasn't like her.

As he stared at her hand he began to feel his anxiety take over. He wanted to shake her off and curl up in the corner.

"I want to be closer with you Adam."

Not like this. Adam looked to Fiona, masking his unease with a look of puzzlement. Please, not like this.

Her lips found their way to his again, and after a few long moments Fiona motioned for them to lower onto the bed. Adam let himself follow her suit, it finally sinking in what it was they planned to do.

Fiona's lips tasted of the alcohol, Adam felt her press closer to him then relaxing. He could feel her determination to do this, but also her fear.

He couldn't move. Adam's arm strayed to her waist, letting himself stay there. His mind was telling him he couldn't do this. Not to Fiona, not to himself. Adam's feelings where swirling inside him; disgust at how he felt about himself, concern for Fiona and worry for her actions. But he was too scared to pull away; her body pressed against him but he could feel her nervousness.

Adam felt tears well up in his eyes, but he continued to move with Fiona as she pressed her tongue lightly against his lips, asking for entrance. Sometimes else that was odd as she usually didn't care to kiss like this. But that was no longer on his mind. The tears were leaving his eyes and he tried to will them to stop. Fiona pulled back briefly before giving him yet another kiss, her hand rising. He felt her thumb brush lightly over his face, wiping away a tear by accident. Immediately time stopped and he felt Fiona tense in his arms. She finally pulled back enough to look at him and he knew he was caught.

What he couldn't stand was the sad look that took hold of Fiona, and how her expression that was hiding whatever pain she was holding in was now mixed with the sadness of seeing her boyfriend reduced to tears. Adam wanted to speak, tell her that it wasn't her fault, but the words wouldn't come.

He tugged at her sleeves and she complied without a word, moving to lie softly against his body. The tears were coming again as he held Fiona in a loose embrace. It wasn't long until they were both crying together. He felt the tears from Fiona on his neck and he moved to hold her more tightly, allowing the silence of the condo to embrace them as they let each other hear their cries.


	3. Fiona's Confession

**Can I just say that some of the reviews just really made me happy, for real I am touched thank you all so much. Also, my favorite author for Fiona/Adam fanfiction likes what I've done so far - which makes me happy. If any of you want some good Fadam stories, go to Bandbabe's profile. That person has a whole bunch of Fiona and Adam goodness. Just saying. So yeah - I'm really glad everyone appreciated last chapter and I'm hoping you all enjoy this one too. Wondering what will happen? Let's find out. **

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"Adam, I'm sorry." Fiona finally voiced after what felt like years to the two. Adam looked down to Fiona, still feeling nervous about meeting her gaze. His eyes closed as he rested his forehead against hers.

"Don't be." He told her, his voice hoarse from crying. He felt Fiona's eyes staring at him and he reluctantly opened his to look back at her. Fiona bit her lip, looking down to his button shirt and carefully lifted her hand, letting it touch his chest.

Adam flinched, and Fiona pulled her arm away.

"Fiona." Adam said her name carefully.

"I'm sorry." She apologized again. Adam stared at her in sympathy – it wasn't just bad timing, the couple just wasn't ready for that step in the relationship.

Fiona sat up, her legs hanging at the edge of her bed.

"My therapist and I were talking," Fiona then said, catching Adam's interest. "about you."

Adam kept a neutral face, he already knew this. Fiona told him a few weeks into their relationship that she mentioned him during her talks. He was honest with her too and told her that he talked about her from time to time with his gender therapist.

"She asked me about how close our relationship is." Fiona admitted. Adam placed his hand on her shoulder, and she looked back to him for reassurance to continue.

"When I mentioned that you and I have never done anything, she questioned about it further. If I had any thoughts, if we ever talked about it…" She trailed off.

Adam gently squeezed her shoulder. They talked about it once, about five months into dating. It was only because their friends had asked them about it and they felt it needed to be talked about. But the conversation was awkward and short, both realizing it wasn't something they were ready to discuss yet. Fiona simply said she didn't want that, at least not yet. Adam hesitantly agreed, not ready to deal with the problems that came with being intimate.

"I told her I've never had any of those kind of feelings. About anyone." Fiona confessed. At this point Adam moved to sit next to her. She didn't pull away when he reached for her hand and held it in his own.

"That's okay Fiona; you don't need to have those feelings. We're not going to do anything unless we're both ready and want to." Adam told her in confidence, but watched as Fiona shook her head.

"I said how I never understood it, but never said anything about it. We talked about it for a while after that." Fiona continued. She took a breath before bravely looking up to meet Adam's gaze.

"Adam," She said; her voice low. "I think… I might be asexual."

Adam blinked, letting the information sink in. Asexual. Someone who didn't have sexual attraction. What did that mean for them though?

"I was afraid to tell you," Fiona went on suddenly. "I didn't want you to think I was rejecting you because of your body."

His gaze softened as she said this, seeing the worry radiate from her eyes.

"How long have you known?" Adam asked, feeling a bit nostalgic. That was what Eli had asked when he had told him and Clare that he was transgender. Looking at Fiona he figured it was recently, but not within the past couple days. Maybe a week or two.

"About 3 weeks. I didn't want to freak out unless I was sure." Fiona said in earnest, looking down at Adam's hand holding hers. Adam pressed his lips together thoughtfully.

"Fiona…" Adam said, his tone just above a whisper as he peered at his girlfriend, making her slowly look back at him.

"Is this why you were drinking?" He asked. Fiona kept silent, her expression speaking for itself. She then eyed him.

"I should have still known. You were feeling at odds with yourself again and I didn't even notice." Fiona said, guilt weighing down with her words. She knew how he got when he felt dysphoric, and yet what she had done all because she was feeling bad about something she couldn't control.

Adam looked at Fiona. True, he was still feeling a bit odd, just sitting there. Yet there was also a level of comfortability that came with being near Fiona. Though it was a bit better now that she had stopped trying to have sex with him.

"What if I am Adam? What if I don't ever want something sexual?" Fiona questioned, making the air quiet. Adam wondered to himself. Could he deal with that, not to say their relationship would make or break because of something like this but in the future wouldn't that be something he'd want to explore with her?

"We'll deal with it." He said.

"Really? And you're not going to have a problem with it?" Fiona said a bit defensively, clearly not believing him. Adam frowned, remembering that she probably had lots of time to think about this. She probably imagined different scenarios, both good and bad.

"I don't know." Adam said sternly, his hand out of Fiona's since she had pulled away from him with her last remark.

"But I'm not going to give up on us just because of this," He went on. "You mean too much to me."

Fiona stared at him, and Adam could suddenly feel the conversation taking another turn he didn't expect. His girlfriend's eyes turned so serious at his words, like she had made a decision right then and there.

"I really love you, you know that." As Fiona said this Adam felt his mouth part open, trying to figure what to say in response. There were times he felt one of them were close to saying it in the past, but it was always dodged somehow.

"I..." Adam said, breathless. "I love you too, Fiona."

She looked at him in slight uncertainty, wondering if he had said it because she did.

"I've never dated before," Adam stated. "but with you, I know, is where I want to be Fiona. You aren't just some princess, you're…"

Adam stopped, hesitating. He saw Fiona looking at him intently, silently encouraging him to continue. His heart sped up.

"You're everything." He felt his face heat up at his confession, but also like a weight was lifted off of his shoulders. Fiona smiled, glancing down.

"So you don't mind if…" Fiona asked, going back to the topic from before. Adam shook his head.

"You've accepted me for who I am." Adam told her gently, a smile on his face.

"It's only right for me to do the same."


	4. Adam's Idea

**Hey guys, well here's the last of the fourshot. Thanks for sticking with me for this small amount of time. Also, I'm wondering if you guys got the reason why Fiona started drinking? I know asexuality may not have seemed like a good reason but there is a lot of stigma out there about it. A lot of people, whether straight, gay, cis, or trans don't always accept asexuality. It's not the most common thing and I figured if that were to be the case with Fiona how much that would bother her especially when she's in a relationship with an FTM who at times feels ashamed with his body. I'm not sure how well it translated to you guys since I didn't get much feedback so I'm kind of assuming you all were probably not liking it too much. Though I am still proud of it myself, and I'm really proud of this last chapter here. Now this was the main reason I made the story M but at the same time it's mainly to be on the safe side. Because this really isn't a lemon in any way - well, you'll see what I mean. And I guess with that I'll let you all get on with this story - let me know what you thought in a review! - and I apologize for the long author's note!**

It's been a week since the incident at Fiona's condo. Their relationship definitely became even stronger after what happened. Adam was once again back at Fiona's place. His mother actually knew too, which was the crazy thing. In the beginning of their relationship she was upset, since Fiona was a senior, plus she remembered her during her drunken performance when talking to the school board about Vegas Night earlier in the year.

But time went by; Drew even stuck up for the couple. Having Declan over during one of the dinners to make conversation with Mrs. Torres probably helped to smooth things over as well.

Currently Adam was sitting on the couch. It felt crazy to him, remembering the events of last week. He got his mom to agree to let him stay overnight, after convincing her that Fiona and he wouldn't be having sex. The irony of that conversation...

He was still in his school uniform, and Fiona, who was somewhere in the condo, was still in her's. He asked that neither of them change. That lunch period he told Fiona there was something he wanted to discuss with her in private.

"So, Adam, what do you want to eat?" Fiona asked, walking into the living room to where Adam was sitting, cell phone in hand indicating she would be ordering in. Adam glanced up at her.

"Uh, I'm not really in the mood for anything in particular, you can pick." He said shyly. Fiona raised a brow at him but nodded. She walked back over to the counter in the kitchen, looking over some of the random menu's she had out. Chinese, Italian. She knew Adam pretty much liked anything, his tastes tend to hop around but he was never too picky unless he needed to be.

Fiona stared at the numbers on her phone before looking up to where Adam was sitting on the couch, once again wondering what it was he wanted to talk about. After a few moments she placed the phone down, before walking back over to Adam. She moved around the couch and watched his eyes immediately go to her. She had to admit she liked the fact that just standing there gave that look on Adam's face. The fact that he blushed when she looked back at him made it more adorable.

She took a seat beside him, giving Adam a smile. Their conversation from a week before replayed through her mind.

"You really are amazing." Fiona said, watching as Adam's face blushed more. But he smiled back at her.

"Thanks." He replied. Adam always sounded so honest when he thanked her.

"You are too."

Fiona couldn't stop her own smile; they did end up complimenting each other a lot during these moments. But there was something else they still didn't say a lot – she wanted to change that.

"I love you." She then said, and she watched as Adam's smile faded, now staring at her intensely.

"Fiona." Her name coming from his mouth made her heart skip. He said it with such sincerity. She waited.

"I – I wanted to talk to you about, well, us, and with what happened last week." Adam then began, and Fiona watched him as he started to get nervous, trying to make sure he said the right things. Fiona moved closer to him and placed her hand on his forearm, her touch making him silent.

"Adam, calm down," Fiona said with a light laugh escaping her. "Whatever it is, we can talk about. Don't be nervous."

Adam smiled, looked Fiona in the eye before looking down. Her hand was still on him, and he took a breath, calming himself.

"I'm not ready to… have sex. Not yet, I don't know when I will be." Adam couldn't bring himself to look at Fiona. But as he started to talk her hand gently rubbed his arm in comfort.

"It's fine with me too, if you don't ever want to … you know." He glanced up, and saw Fiona nod to him at his words.

"Uh, but I was thinking, just because we can't do that doesn't mean we can't still be … intimate."

By now his face was red, he had gone over the conversation in his head multiple times yet he couldn't find a better way to say it. Daring to be bold he raised his head so he could look at Fiona fully to see her reaction. She didn't look disgusted, or mad, like he thought she would have.

Fiona looked back at Adam, feeling her heart pick up at his suggestion. Curiosity got to her.

"What did you have in mind?" She wasn't sure if she would go for whatever he was thinking, but she was open-minded. As long as it didn't cross any lines or boundaries that shouldn't be crossed.

Adam's eyes shifted, looking around from random spot to random spot. He had to remind himself to remain calm; that Fiona wouldn't be mad at him for talking about this and the worst case would be her saying no. He would still respect her either way.

"Well I was reading about it only, how to be intimate without actually getting intimate. That it doesn't have to involved intercourse, but can just be small things. Like touch," Adam paused, hoping his words wouldn't be taken the wrong way. He then took Fiona's hand from his arm and held it in his, placing his other hand on top of hers.

"I won't be upset if you say no." He reassured, after all he had only brought this up since a few times that week when he did talk with Fiona about it she expressed that though she never harbored sexual desires though she wish she did so that Adam wouldn't feel unwanted by her. He didn't want her to feel so guilty about something like this.

"You still haven't told me what it was you wanted to do." Fiona mentioned, unable to stop her own smile when she saw Adam face blush again just as he was beginning to calm down.

"No kissing, nothing… sexual." Adam said, watching Fiona as she bit her lip, waiting for him to continue.

"But we can… touch each other. Help each other change." Adam cleared his throat after he said it, wondering if he sounded foolish for his suggestion. The words alone were embarrassing, and he was sure it probably sounded silly.

"You want us to help each other get changed?" Fiona repeated to make sure she heard him correctly.

"It's more romantic than it sounds." Adam said, looking away. He felt the tension ease when he heard Fiona laugh.

"Changing out of our school uniforms. How dreamy." Fiona joked, and then grabbed Adam's hand when he tried to pull away from her.

"I'm joking Adam." Fiona said in reassurance, her thumb rubbing the back of his hand. She looked down, feeling the warmth of his hands in hers. It was a feeling she never got tired of. She tired imagined those same hands helping her take off her shirt.

Fiona blushed at the thought, the words Adam said then resounding in her head.

"_No kissing, nothing… sexual."_

If it were anyone else, she'd suspect how honest the words were. But she knew Adam, plus this wasn't just about her. He also had his issues with his body, yet he was giving her the chance to see him.

"And you're fine with me seeing you?" Fiona voiced her thoughts in concern, wanting to make sure. The idea was a bit out there but… it sounded like something they could try.

"I am, and you?" Adam said, looking up to Fiona in wonder. When she didn't respond right away Adam lifted up her hand and placed his lips against it.

"Fiona, we won't do this unless you want to." He told her with confidence. Fiona loosened her hands from him and moved to grab his chin, making him look her in the eye.

"No," She said seriously. "we don't do this unless we _both _want to."

Adam stared at her before his smile returned to his face.

It wasn't until about four hours did they finally make it to Fiona's room. Adam stepped into the room, remembering what happened last time he was in there. He shook it off as he went to Fiona's bed and let himself just fall into it, closing his eyes.

"Tired?" He heard Fiona ask behind him, and he grumbled in response. Truthfully the butterflies in his stomach were making him feel nauseous, but he didn't want to tell Fiona that.

When he felt the bed move he let one eye open, seeing Fiona sit down on the other side from where he was. Using his arms he pushed himself up and he moved over to where she was. Adam knew she could feel him coming over so he didn't say anything as he went to sit behind her, wrapping his arms around her. His chin rested against her shoulder.

Fiona looked down, placing her hands over where Adam's where at her stomach. Leaning back a little, she sighed as she rested against Adam. She could feel the bumps on his chest through her back but it didn't matter, regardless of what he had or didn't have she knew who and what he really was deep down.

She pulled away from him a little and turned so she could look Adam in the eye.

"I love you." Fiona repeated for the second time that day, staring into Adam's blue eyes with her own.

Without meaning to she leaned forward and captured his lips with hers. Fiona felt him cup her face gently as he pressed back. She smiled into the kiss before Adam cut it short, pulling away.

He let out a quick breath as he smirked at her.

"So much for no kissing." He said. Fiona smiled as she glanced down, a bit embarrassed before looking back to Adam.

"We'll be careful, anything we don't like, just say the word." She said with a blush. Adam stared back at her, giving a quick nod in response. Fiona's eyes went from Adam's face the buttons on his shirt before looking back at him. He saw what she was doing and blushed alongside with her.

"It's… it's okay Fiona." Adam told her. Fiona stood and moved herself so that her and Adam where sitting on her bed facing each other. Fiona's eyes went back to Adam's shirt, still uncertain.

"I love you too, Fiona." Her eyes went to Adam as he said this, and she smiled to him. Moving closer to Adam her eyes flickered to the buttons of his shirt, and then back to him. Making a decision she closed the gap between their lips once again. She felt Adam momentarily tense, not expecting her to kiss him for a second time since coming into her room.

He felt Fiona's hands on him, placed just above his chest. They slowly made their way to the top of his shirt and he felt her delicate fingers gently unbuttoning his polo. Afterward her hands stayed there, tracing his collarbone lightly. She once again broke the kiss and heard Adam's take a couple of deep breathes. Her hands were still on him but they ventured down his sides where she gently grabbed the shirt by the hem. Fiona paused, looking to Adam for permission to continue.

After a few moments he motioned with his head that he was fine and Fiona began to lift the purple shirt up, helping Adam as she pulled it off his head and let it fall beside them. Her eyes immediately went down his torso, seeing the tight looking black undershirt that looked fitted against him.

"It's a binder," Adam explained as casually as he could. "I got it from this site called Underworks."

Fiona nodded in understanding, already knowing this information. They talked about a lot of things during their relationship, and since she knew he was FTM they've had discussions on that as well.

She saw Adam fidget under her gaze, causing her to frown.

"Are you okay? We can stop." She asked, ready to turn around so she wouldn't be looking at him. Adam shook his head.

"No, my heart is just beating really fast." He declared to her, placing a hand over where his heart would be. Fiona stared down at him, wondering something.

"Are you wearing anything under that?" Fiona asked cautiously about his binder, not sure how sensitive the subject was to her boyfriend. Adam looked down.

"Uh… no." He told her. Silence took over for the next minute. Fiona gazed at Adam, realization drawing in upon her. Maybe he knew this would happen yet was still willing to go this far for her? Fiona's eyes widened.

"We need to stop." She went to stand up, when Adam made her halt in her movements by grabbing her by the wrist. She looked over to him.

"I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable for my sake." Fiona explained. Adam stared at her, slowly putting together what she said in his mind.

"Fiona, that's not it." He told her quickly before she tried to stand up again.

"Even knowing how my body is you just see me as a guy, a person." Adam went on, letting go of Fiona as she sat back down.

"I'm doing this because I trust you enough."

Before Fiona could stop herself she moved forward and embraced Adam, hugging him tightly. He encircled his arms around her, breathing in her scent as his face buried into her long hair.

"Adam," Fiona spoke into his ear, amusement in her voice as she remembered something else. "We left our bags in the living room."

It was fine for her; she had her clothes in her room. But all of Adam's stuff was in his school bag. As the hug ended Fiona faced Adam.

"Did you bring a change of clothes?" She asked him, not waiting to break the moment but feeling it should be asked. Adam's mouth turned into a frown.

"Right…" He uttered, more to himself, clearly forgetting about them.

"I can get you a shirt from Declan's room." Before Adam could protest she had gotten off the bed and left the room. Watching her as she walked out Adam looked over to his shirt lying on Fiona's bed before sighing and falling onto his back, staring up at the ceiling.

He still sometimes couldn't grasp how well things were. After all, his mom gave him permission to come over Fiona's. Not that he didn't have really talk her beforehand about it. She made it hard to be with Fiona at the beginning, but as time moved on and she finally gave the girl a chance she was fine, if still a tad reluctant. And now he he was, in a good relationship with a wonderful person.

The shirt landed on him and Adam shot up, he pulled the piece of clothing off of his head and saw Fiona standing beside the bed. Looking at her he quickly dropped the shirt to the side and stood up, moving in front of her.

Fiona watched Adam, unsure of what to say. Her eyes met his and she felt time stop. There was a determination that wasn't there before. He then glanced down, and Fiona knew what he was going to do. She took a breath as he lifted his hands towards the top of her shirt, carefully unbuttoning the three buttons there. Fiona watched him pause, before lowering his hands to the bottom of her shirt like she had down with him prior. And, like her, he glanced up, searching her gaze for permission to continue.

Giving a soft smile, Fiona gave a small nod. Adam took a step closer to her, their body's only inches apart. Fiona's heart began to pick up again, feeling the heat from Adam's breath brush against her neck. He moved the shirt upwards, trying to be as gentle as he could. Fiona ended up helping him but they got the shirt off. Adam let the blue shirt fall to the floor, unable to stop himself from looking back to Fiona. She was in a pretty looking white bra, but what embarrassed Adam was the cleavage that he could clearly see. He shut his eyes and turned his head.

He felt Fiona move even closer to him, and once again hugged him. It had a different feel than the hug on her bed. They were both exposing so much to the other. Adam took a shaky breath as he hugged Fiona back, feeling her shiver as his fingers touched bare flesh.

Adam closed his eyes, not wanting the hug to end. In all honestly he felt so close with Fiona, not just physically either. There was nothing sexual going on but he could feel that they were being so trusting of the other in this type of situation.

"Adam." He heard Fiona muttered against him. He rubbed her back in comfort, blushing when his hand grazed the hooked part of her bra. His whole body tensed, trying to figure out what to do, wondering if he should pull away.

"It's okay," Fiona said, and Adam couldn't help but smile to himself, trying to remember how many times she's said that to him. "Just don't look."

Adam nodded against her, knowing she could feel his motions. His hands went up her back, resting on the fabric for a few moments before carefully unhooking the material. It didn't fall though, since the couple was still in an embrace. Adam's eyes glanced at her bare back, and after taking in what he had done he closed his eyes.

Fiona felt grateful, knowing Adam would respect her request. She still felt a bit nervous, and she questioned herself if she was really okay with this.

Finally pulling away from their embrace, her garment falling to the floor, she smiled when she saw Adam's eyes still closed. During the embrace she could feel his heart beating through his chest, and she was sure he could feel hers as well.

"Keep your eyes closed." Fiona spoke lightly, stepping closer to Adam and placing her hands on his waist so he still knew what she was doing. Slowly she brought her hands farther down, touching his belt buckle. Adam stepped back at the contact.

His eyes opened, and he opened his mouth to speak but then he caught sight of Fiona. Immediately he turned around, eyes once again shut tight, but the image was burned into his mind's eye.

"I'm sorry!" Adam said quickly enough, then silence overtook him when he felt Fiona's front press against his back. He blushed, feeling her hands go around him to his belt buckle again.

"Say the word, and I'll stop." Fiona reminded, undoing his belt. She waited a moment and when he didn't say anything she then went to the zipper on his pants.

Adam stood there in silence as Fiona continued. It wasn't long after that until they were both nearly completely bore. By now Adam stood in just his boxers and binder, while Fiona still in her skirt.

"Okay, you can look." Fiona whispered, Adam now facing her as he waited another moment before opening his eyes. He looked down at her, before taking Fiona's hands in his own and brought it to the bottom of his binder.

She looked up at him carefully, before going with it and helping him take it off. Her eyes went over the whole of Adam's body, realizing the curves he had that were similar to her own. He did well to hide from the world what he didn't want to be seen.

Looking back up to his face, Fiona saw the nervousness in his eyes as he watched her, trying to see what she was thinking. Stepping away from him she grabbed Declan's shirt that was on her bed and brought it over, helping Adam put it on.

"Thank you." She said to him, buttoning the shirt over his front. Adam continued to watch her as she stepped back.

"I'm going to finish getting change myself." She explained, to which Adam nodded at her, still keeping silent. His eyes followed her as she grabbed a nightgown from her drawer and left the room. Moving over to the bed he sat down at the edge of his, running his hand through his short hair. He didn't feel like anything went wrong, they just went as far as they could go.

Declan's shirt was a bit loose on him, since Fiona's brother was a lot taller than Adam was. He fixed the collar, before the door to Fiona's room opened again and his girlfriend stepped in.

"Are you staying?" Fiona asked as he looked back up to her, now dressed in a solid blue nightgown that ended just below her knees. Adam nodded, and Fiona walked over to where he was, sitting beside him.

"Adam, what we did," Fiona paused as she took his hand in hers. "Thank you, it means a lot."

It probably didn't seem much to others, but the whole act itself… Adam was right, it wasn't sexual, but it was still intimate.

Adam smiled back at Fiona.

"I'm glad." He told her; it still felt weird to be dressed how they were with each other, but it was in a good way.

Then Adam smiled, and before Fiona could ask what was going on he was able to hug her around the waist and make her fall back onto the bed. Fiona let out a startled yell, before laughing when she saw her boyfriend's smiling face as he looked down at her.

"I'm not rich." He began out of the blue, surprising Fiona. She blinked at him.

"I know you're going to graduate this year, but I still want to be together."

Fiona saw the genuine look in his eyes as he spoke to her. His gaze started to waver, as if he were losing confidence. She reached up, grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling him closer to her face. Before she could kiss him he uttered to her a sentence that made her stop and look back at him.

"I'm sorry, can you repeat that?" Fiona asked, trying to keep herself calm but unable to deny the excitement she felt as her heart hammered in her chest. He smiled as he repeated his question.

"Fiona Coyne," Adam stared at her. "Will you marry me?"  


* * *

**NOTE: My friend read this over and pointed something out to me. The idea about the intimacy technically isn't my idea. There's this book The Tenth Circle, in which two characters, after leaving a sauna help dress each other. It's not the same, but the idea was in my head, I just didn't remember it from the book. So I can't take complete credit for the idea. Just saying for my consciousness' sake. Again, it's definitely different from the book, but the idea wasn't completely original. **


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